I leave for Vegas tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn. My plane leaves from Spokane at 6 am.

I'm printing off 30 resumes and a bunch of business cards.

still have to pack


should probably get started with that soon

H E A V E N

I I found what Heaven smells like.

I was at Wal*Mart sniffing the four new scents of Axe . . . OH MY HOLY HANNA!

What I've been doing...

Black & White Stripe earrings



















Two different bracelets



















Flamingo earrings























My favorite of the bunch, black and white star earrings, I'm working on a matching necklace right now.




I have lots of other colors, I just like black the best. If you would like to buy any just let me know, either the pieces shown or custom made.
Don't know how much, but getting a custom piece made wouldn't cost more... Around $8-$15 ? IDK

A tad late...

It's been over a week since my last post, sorry about that. The real shame is that it wasn't that I was too busy too write, wasn't that my mind was too preoccupied too write, wasn't that I was relishing in having nothing to do to write... I just didn't.

I suppose there isn't much to say even since my last post. Still haven't found a job, been playing phone tag with Master Cuts for almost a week now. There are 30 days until Beacon.

I just booked my Hotel and looking into flights.



But there is one exciting thing that happened!
One of my best friends from high school, Lance Kindle came to visit me yesterday. If you know much about my past then you will undoubtedly know that him and I had a huge falling out and before last month hadn't talked in over a year and a half. But I decided to put it all behind me, I learned from the experience and am stronger for it.
It was sooo good seeing him again, I had forgotten how well the two of us get along. I didn't realize how much I missed him until I saw him again yesterday. We have been texting back and forth for around a month now and it all just makes me incredibly happy. =D

Which is just what I needed because I'm in a sort of limbo right now, done with school and finished with that part of life, but I haven't started the next part yet... I'm just kind of waiting around for Beacon. Sitting around at home with not much to do, with no one my age back from school yet, life was drab.
But last night I fell asleep smiling and I am actually looking forward to the near future!!

Tomorrow we are going to have a Star Wars marathon! All six episodes in two installments. 7 hours tomorrow evening from 5:30-midnight-thirty and then 7 1/2 hours on Saturday, not sure the time for that one yet, I think we'll wait and see how we are feeling after the first three and decide how much sleep we need before the rest.
We're going to watch them in the order they came out; IV, V, VI on Friday then I, II, III on Saturday.
I have been wanting, no needing to have this marathon since the credits of the midnight showing of episode III, years ago! But no one seemed to want to do such a thing, I don't know why. Who WOULDN'T want to see 14 1/2 hours of Star Wars!??!?!?!

So tomorrow will be filled with caramel corn making, room cleaning and epic movie watching!

expimental

so, it's 5:30 am and I've not yet been to bed.

I sit here at the computer snacking on a few powdered donuts. Me being right handed instinctively picked up the donut with my right hand, causing my right thumb and pointer finger to be covered in delicious white powder.

Not wanting to get the powder on the keyboard, or even more the key board-germs on my donut fingers I entered my screen name and password with my left hand only. This got me thinking, can I effectively type something more than a log-in with my left hand alone? How long would it take to learn to do so at a decent speed?

So, all of this has been typed with my powder-covered right hand never touching the keyboard.

I don't know if I should try to stay up until tonight and be extremely tired all day to get my sleep schedule back to a semi-normal state, or if I should try to get some sleep now and risk accidentally sleeping in until 3 in the afternoon again??

it came

I got my Washington license.


I have the picture to put on it.


but I don't have a job and for some reason have no motivation to look for one.

I need money, to get to Vegas... PMtS will reimburse me but I have to have the money at some point.
But I just don't want to g out looking for a job, again.

I don't want to work at Perspectives Salon because I am only going to be in Richland for two more months, max. I don't want to join a team and get attached, or become someone they rely on and then just up and leave.
but then there is also, who is going to hire me for a month and a half?




do you ever feel like you just can't get anything right?

what will the future hold?

my license still hasn't come in the mail (my washington one)

I have some job offers, but I don't know if I want to take them because I'm not going to be in Richland much longer.

Beacon in in less than two months, after that is the family camping trip which will take up about a week
and I don't know what comes after that


I just wish I knew what was going to happen. The uncertainty used to be fun, but now it's just annoying and scary. Not scary in an exciting way but in a nightmarish sort of way...

late night walk

I went on a walk after sunset, sat on my favorite tree by the river. Her name is Lucy...

Roman, Kaetochi, Liz-o and I met her the last day of Junior year. The hardest year of high school for all of us. We were all done with AP Lang and went to the River to revel in that thought. To relax and unwind... this is when we met Lucy.


Here are some poems I wrote about Lucy:

Bounding from the river

Layered with bugs snared in webbing

The perfect place to sit and talk

Lucy

Lucy is her name
Lovely Lucy Languished with loneliness
Visited by Hobos
Lovers
And bosom buddies







It was pretty dark but the pictures turned out good regardless.

Some things about Aubrey you might not know (and never wanted to)

My least favorite part of the day is taking off my make-up because I spend so much time doing it in the morning, and after I take it off my face is all red and blotchy

I am on doctors orders not to drink soda... I have at least one can per week

I actually enjoyed wearing all back whilst attending PMtS. Somehow all the black made me feel comfortable and safe

When I was younger my room got so messy before my parents forced me to clean it that my dad would get a rake and bring everything into the center of the room in a heaping pile to make the mess seem more manageable.

I lose the game on a weekly basis. but one of my joys in life is bringing people into the game

There are 6 mannequin heads in my room, all but one are named Shelby. The sixth was christened Debra Mannequin

One of my favorite things guys wear are ties. Really cool ties.

There are three blogs that I keep up. One for the public (a link to it is on my "info" page.) One that only a few select friends know about, for more sensitive material. And one that is more of an online journal.

If I don't know what time it is, I get anxious. Even if I have no where to go, nowhere to be I have to know what time it is. My watch is taken off very rarely and if I ever misplace it I cannot sit still

I enjoy making stuffed animals out of old socks or by crocheting. To stuff them I buy big stuffed animals from the thrift store, cut them open and use their guts to fill my new animals.

My favorite number in general is Nine thousand, Nine hundred and ninety nine(9,999)
My number I am partial to which fits more situations is either 7 or 176

Whenever I hear something in a different language that I don't understand (physics and the such included) I respond with "Si, los pantalones" meaning, Yes the pants.

I read all four Twilight books. They were alright but NOT NEARLY as good as everyone seems to think they are. Not worthy of making a movie out of... I tried to read one again to see if I had missed something but could not get more than two chapters before I felt my brain cells going on massive mercy killings

I don't like my blankets to be warm when I get into them, it makes me think that someone was there just before me (like the awkward moment you sit on the toilet and it's warm, and you can't help but picture someone else's butt warming it up) The blankets and my pillow should start cold

One of my favorite things in the world to do is to drive. If gas were not so expensive I would go for a drive everyday, just drive around for hours. There is a stretch of road on the way between Washington and Utah that we take when we travel between the two, miles and miles of straight pavement. Nothing to look at on either side but crops, but to be with yourself, the road and music blaring =D

When caught in a awkward situation I often strive to kick the awkward level up another notch.

I can read treble clef and play right hand on piano, and can't sing harmony without much practice and humming to myself.

I have literally more family than I can count. If I try really hard I can name all my cousins on my moms side... I think

I could be entertained for hours with something as simple as a light up top, a clicky pen, a pop-up book or anything sparkly.

I don't play video games, have never been to a LAN party, or done drugs. But I will understand if you say almost anything about the three

For me the perfect temperature range is 62-74 degrees. Any colder and I shiver but will live. Any hotter and I suffer endlessly

I hate sweating, it is one of my least favorite things to do in the entire world.

I type very fast but with only 87% accuracy. I tend to type out what I want to say and then go back and fix errors. I rarely hit "backspace" while in mid-sentence.

At some point in my life I want to live in the Scottish country side. Have a summer house there I could vacation to every now and again. In the green fields of heather with the fresh smell of clean rain. (Also, a man in a traditional kilt is strangely and incredibly attractive.)

I hate the rain if its cold, dirty or too heavy

If it isn't Christmas time, I hate the snow

Hail storms are some of the most exciting times of my life
I love Disney Movies, especially Mulan and Hercules and Beauty & The Beast and Snow White and Sleeping Beauty.

All my best friends live in my computer

My favorite color is bright pink

I am obsessed with Broadway and musicals. 90% of the music on my computer is show tunes

I enjoy writing letters almost as much as receiving them (*hint* *hint*)

My main means of communication is text (for those living near by) or facebook (for all others)

In my memory I have only ever lived in two town, two houses. Both blue

I don't like sheets. I sleep under blankets on top of blankets

I never wear anything on my feet if I can help it

My favorite utensil is a spoon.

Though I can cook almost anything my favorite and most common delight is cookies

I once sat in my room and counted to 9,999 just to see if I could do it

I love being on stage more than almost anything else

I am not comfortable with the person I am (hence my love of being on stage, being someone else)

I have had clinical depression since 4th grade and have been on every medication thinkable for it

I don't sing or dance in the shower, that is weird

My favorite person in the entire, whole wide world is my (step)Dad.

My favorite books are children books (especially Dr. Seuss who is my favorite Author)

My favorite forms of creative output are: Cutting hair, Coloring hair, Make-up, Acting, Singing, Scrap booking, Making up recipes, sewing (though I am not yet good at this particular skill)

My favorite musicals are (in not particular order): Sweeney Todd, The Fantasticks, Les Miserables, The Last 5 Years, Spring Awakenings, Rent

Other musicals I enjoy immensely are: 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, Suessical the Musical, Miss Sigon, The Flower Drum Song, Oliver!, Singing In The Rain, Guys & Dolls, Fiddler On The Roof, I Love You You're Perfect Now Change, Into The Woods, Chicago, Jekyll & Hyde, Little Shop of Horrors, Rent, Wicked, Candide, Footloose, Kiss Me Kate, Moulin Rouge, Nightmare Before Christmas

I have no middle name. None of the girls in my family have middle names so that when we get married we can keep our maiden names as middle names so as to keep from having names such as Aubrey Lynn Marie Slack Shadenfroiden. Aubrey Slack Shadenfroiden is much simpler. Though I plan on dropping Slack all together and adding in a middle name Lynn. because it's my favorite middle name

I have horrible neophobia -- or the fear of new foods. I have never eaten the following: Lasagna, mushrooms, hamburgers with anything but bread and meat, meatloaf, tomatoes, cranberry sauce, chilly, any sort of bean, Artichokes, asparagus, beets, cucumbers, leeks, poppers, alfredo and many others. I never plan on eating them

I have only ever lived in two states. Utah and Washington. In my memory I have only ever lived in three cities, Heber City Utah. Richland Washington and now Provo Utah (though we moved around a lot when I was little, to different places in norther Utah) I don't like Utah and never plan on moving back

My feet are much bigger than they appear. I wear size 10-11 which means that I can never find anything cute that fits

When I was very little, at day care we had TV/nap time. We watched Barney, Sesame Street, Lamb Chop (this is the song that never ends...), Thomas the Tank Engine and Reading Rainbow. I loved all the shows but Reading Rainbow because every time I saw or heard Lavar Burton i thought of his role in Star Trek and his funny glasses and couldn't pay attention to any of the books he was reading. Also, I hated the way he talked like we were all little kids (we WERE all little kids, but he didn't have to talk to us that way)

Probably my all time favorite song is "Return to Pooh Corner" by Kenny Loggins. It is one of my dads favorite songs which is probably why I like it so much. It is one of those songs that seems to fit at any given point in your life. It's a seemingly silly song about Winnie the Pooh and a man who grows up only to realise that there are "a few precious things seem to follow throughout all our lives"

I am afraid that someone is hiding in the shower and will pop out at me if I'm using the bathroom, so I will always check then open the shower curtain to the right before I can use the bathroom. I also have to look in the toilet to make sure that there aren't any spiders in it.... someone once told me about a kind of spider that likes to crawl up drain pipes into toilets and bite you while you're sitting there. Now I know that they probably don't exist but I still have to check every time.

I am a horrible speller. I have the ability to spell most things correctly, if I try. but usually I just don't care. I understand what I'm saying, YOU understand what I'm saying so why should I take the extra time and effort to spell every little word exactally the same as everyone else spells it. Also, I think it is funny when it annoys anal-spellers.
Though, my internet explorer has a spell checker so when writing important people or things I can apper smarter and not so lazy.

I make lists of things in my spare time. Lists of books I want to own, movies I need to see. Lists of names I hate and ones I want to give to my children/cats. Lists of things to do w/ people the next time I see them. Also, I have a list of lists I want to make...

I want to name a daughter Kaedence, after my high school best friend Kaetochi (I can't name a daughter Kaetochi because it's not a white girl name)
I also like the girl names:
Harmony, Joy, Eden, Cailynn

I want to name a son Jeremy after my once best friend, Jeremy.
I also like the boy names:
Ezikial, Donavan, Adan, Ezra and Kaeden, in case I don't have a daughter but still want a child named after Kaetochi

In my 5th grade class the word Podhajsky was a spelling word... Kari Podhajsky's last name... it was pretty much a requirement to be her friend, being able to spell her name. I can spell it quite quickly!! (much the same as little kids take pride in spelling mississippi)

My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving (lots of amazing food, great times with family, sitting together in Grandma's living room talking, going around the room saying what we are thankful for) Christmas is second but pales in comparison (food and family are still there, but it gets too much hype to actually be amazing)

Movies after books are horrible horrible things. I instantly loose respect for anyone who says they love Harry Potter than admit to only having seen the movies, and have no desire to read the books.

Fake Christmas trees are blasphemous, enough said.

Blue is NOT a Christmas color. The only time blue is acceptable in decorating is when red green silver and gold are also present. Strings of all blue lights are not to be tolerated.

I collect quotes. Quotes from movies, books, famous people, plays and quotes I hear every day. I have a list on my iTouch, on my computer, in the bag I take to church and on a paper in my room. Every once in a while I will put the lists together and read through them.

I love Shakespeare and sometimes when I am in a bad mood I will hunker down and read me some Loves Labours Lost or Richard III. Well done Shakespeare is a piece of heaven and is valued above riches and gold. Badly done Shakespeare is worse than killing puppies.
The "Shakespeare" that comes from reading in high school English classes would make William himself hate it.

Some of my favorite authors include:
Orson Scott Card (the Ender series, Enchantment and his women of Genesis collection)
Dr. Seuss (I cannot list my favorites because I love them all... but Have I Ever Told You How Lucky You Are is my top)
Terry Pratchett, disk world series (The Wee Free Men, Moving Pictures, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, Hogfather, A Hat Full Of Sky, Night Watch, Soul Music, Reaper Man, Witches Abroad, Thief of Time, Mort, Sourcery, The color of Magic)
Jane Austen (Emma and Pride & Prejudice are my favorites. Sense and Sensibility I didn't like at all)

I hate country music. Growing up my dad joked telling my sister and I that we could "smoke, drink go to jail as long as we didn't clog dance or listen to country music".
When we played Cowboys and Indians I thought that the cowboys were the bad guys, and considered cowboys and such a kind of evil.

I lived from the ages of 2-9.5 in a small hick town in the mountains of Utah named Heber City. It is a place that old people move to when they retire because of it's "scenic value" and a place where nine months out of the year you can hear the rodeo blaring all through the night. Multiple times a year some kid would have for show in tell either his rope throwing tricks, steer wrestling (and by steer I mean calves) and barrel racing. There was an annual parade w/ a few of the traditional floats, the fire trucks and such.... then there were lots of horses and people dressed in funny clothes on those horses, ie lots of denim, bedazzled denim. Jackets with fringe running up the sleeves and skirts with tacky plastic jewels lining the bottoms. It was practically a requirement to own at least one pair of cowboy boots and a hat (my family and I weren't true citizens as we didn't own either, and never sported the mullet)

Aubrey the name is the Norman French form of the Germanic name ALBERICH. As an English masculine name it was common in the Middle Ages, and was revived in the 19th century.
It means "Fair Ruler of the Little People" or "King of the Elves"
"ALB" means elf and "RIC" or "RICH" means power/ruler

I am not good at but mediocre at the following: Photography, singing, writing, drawling, painting, sewing acting and cooking. I have the horrible habit of finding pleasure in an activity such as these until I find too many people who are better than me, then I decided that because I will never be nearly as amazing as them that I might as well stop trying and switch on to something else I can excel at. A horrible way to think but true.

The Dr. Seuss book "Happy Birthday to You" is read to me every year on my birthday by my daddy. Last last year I was 600 miles away in Provo on my birthday so I called him and he read it to me over the phone. Last year he recorded himself reading it and sent me the mp3

I have only been to the following states: Utah, Washington, Oregon, California, Nevada, Idaho, montana, Wyoming and if you count airports New Jersey.
Outside of the US I have been to Mexico (only Tijuana so it doesn't really count) England and Scotland.

I keep my cell phone on me at all times, usually in my bra

nuts belong in jars of nuts, not in chocolate or cookies

red delicious apples are a disgrace to the whole apple world, they're skin is to hard, they are gross.

The Beatles are highly over rated

I can't sleep at night if I know that my 120 crayon set is unorganized

if it has sauce, Aubrey probably doesn't like it

A good helping of ice cream will fix almost any problem

PJs are not proper attire for anything outside your house other than Halloween, unless you are ill.

Valentines day is a stupid holiday. Thanksgiving is the best

grapnuts cereal tastes like dry cat food

bright pink rivals all other colors

I enjoy wearing all black, but in a cute way, not a Gothic/emo one

glitter is sexy

Fruit is much cuter than vegetables (mostly because vegetables as a whole are not cute)

Cheesecake is a dessert of the gods

Mr. Darcy > Edward Cullen. [The End][Stop][Period]

Photo Shop is sent from heaven above








Here are a few questions I have that will never be answered.

do penguin have knees

how old do you have to be to die of old age?

if you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket

why did sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up there?

if you fart and burp at the same time, would it make vacuum in your tummy?

do they call a fortune teller who can't see a "blind seer"?

why do you put your two cents in when it's only a penny for your thoughts

No shirt, no shoes, no service... do they have to serve someone with no pants?

if an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?

why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?

do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear words?

why are the adjectives "fast as" and "slow as" often used in conjunction with hell, is hell fast or slow?

why are red buttons always the most important

if a hermaphrodite got sent to jail, would they go to a men or womens' prison?

would you die if you didn't pee?

why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even thought there are no known audio recording of the man?

if marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles

If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would
you be falling down or floating up?

why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"

can you really read a picture book?

is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism

if you only have one eye, are you blinking or winking?

was is a chickpea if it is neither a chick or a pea

whenever an adult is kidnapped, why isn't it called adultnapped?

Did Yankee Doodle name the feather, hat, town, or his pony Macaroni?

If fantasy island really granted wishes, why wasn't Tattoo 6'6"

if all of ACME's products backfire, why does Wile E. Coyote keep buying them?

is it legal to name your kid "anonymous"

do cows have calf muscles

if you died with braces on would they take them off?

if a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?

Why is joey short for Joe, when joey as more letters?

Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot?

how come toy hippos are always blue or purple when real hippos are brown?

why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

why isn't palindrome a palindrome?

why is it called a "near miss" when they didn't hit each other, wouldn't it be a "near hit?

why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

why is it called after dark when it's really after light

A story told from long ago...

Yesterday I woke up at 9:00 so I could get ready for my appointment with my counselor Dixie.

I went up stairs after doing my hairs and make-up, the mail was not on the table. I went over to the mail box and saw many things in it, grabbed the mail and dropped it on the kitchen table. There was a particularly large and thick envelope I got a few butterflies in my stomach.
The name on the envelope was..... Keith Jolley :(

Dejected I dropped it back on the table with the other things which were all obviously bills. But then out of the corner of my eye I saw... an envelope with security patterns on the outside, it was not thick, or heavy. It was more square than the average envelope...

I took it up, calmly read the addressee, To one Aubrey Slack. Sent from some federal business office in Utah. I told myself that this wasn't it, this couldn't be the thing I had been waiting three weeks for. It was probably something for my student loans or something

I get a pen and slowly slide it under the flap dragging it ever so slightly to the opposite side. The flap is opened and lifted up.
At this point my breath has stopped and my hands close to shaking.

I pull the contents out of the envelop one millimeter at a time. As quickly as I try to pull it out it seems to slow down, the anticipation has gone from exciting to down right annoying.
When the paper comes out, it is faced backwards and I cannot tell what exactly it is.
Flipping said paper over is all that I want to do, but I can't seem to do it fast enough.

After what seems like eternity the paper concedes to show me it's true identity.

It is a pretty blue paper with an official looking seal on the right side. The heading says:
State of Utah Department of Commerce
then under that is says:
Division of Occupational & Professional Licensing.

Active license.

Official Utah State Cosmetology/Barber License (They recently combined the licenses cosmetology and barbering)

Today I am going to take $40, some paperwork and my Utah license to the DOPL and they will send me my Washington State License.

Today at 2:45 I have a job interview at a salon in Richland next to my favorite coffee shop. It is called Perspective Salon. It is my number one choice in all the salons I have applied to!!

When the stage was sung for my holiday

Today, I was taking a walk with my good friend Nat when I realized something. I like people, I like listening to people talk.

He was talking about.... something. Explaining some sort of thing with physics or trigonometry or something... I really had no interest in what he was talking about, but I loved listening to him talk about it. He spoke with such intensity, such passion, such desire for me to understand. The fact that he was interested in what he was saying made it enjoyable for me.

One of my favorite things to do at family gatherings to this day is to sit and listen to the grown ups talk. Whether it be about the weather, the outcome of the last X-country meet, politics or childhood memories. Occasionally I'll interject some similar story or witty comment but mostly I just sit and listen.

I love hearing the different tones in peoples voices, the inflections, their word choice. The looks on faces accompanying the things they are saying.
I love the chase, following the conversation watching it wander aimlessly from one subject to another back tracking and going different directions.


This hobby of mine is particularly useful to me as a hairdresser because the majority of my time is spent listening to people.

I am a people person, which is good.

bad movie, good company = :-D

went to see the new X-Men movie, paled in comparison to any of the others... but it had a good cast, muscly men, and epic action scenes. And I saw it with my Nat friend, so at least the company was good :)

A great day to visit

I went to Hanford today to visit a few of my high school friends during their lunch.

I get to school and as I walk in I see Mama Maldonado. She says hi, we catch up a little bit and then she tells me that today is a bad day to be here, there is a bomb threat, the students don't know but I need to hurry to the office, get a visitors pass and head up to my mothers classroom.

I get my pass, get into SraJ's room and ask her, is today a bad day to be here, she says, yes.
I sit down with Jaachim and we talk a bit. Then over the intercom the office tells us that there is an evacuation drill, all our stuff needs to be left in the room for the bomb sniffing dogs to search.

We all go out to the foot ball field, we are out there for 20 minutes and i am wearing flip-flops and a skirt. The wind is slow but cold.

They let us back into the building, but no one knows what the schedule will be. Then they say that 2nd lunch is right now. So I then head down to have lunch w/ my friends.


One thing I want to know is why do high school guys insist on growing "facial hair" it don't work, it's gross and the fact that most of them can't makes them look even less "manly" than they would otherwise.... and the people who CAN just shouldn't.
Maybe it's because I've lived in Provo too long where 95% of guys are always clean shaven, but I found facial hair gross before. There are very few guys who can pull off even tasteful face-hair.

Out of high school I'm glad to be

As I type this I am sitting in my mothers classroom waiting for her 6th hour to finish so that I can take her home by 3:00 to be home when Chase and Isaac get home, so I can have the car and the freedom to hang out with Kat wherever we want.
Kat is my best friend of the moment. We met over Thanksgiving because she is a mutual friend, she is Jeremy's friend. We became close over facebook as we each helped the other out with their assorted troubles and drama.
I'm not sure what we will do but we have been planning on hanging out when I got home for weeks and weeks.

I haven't shared this with many people, but this is my blog so I can say what I want.
I was reading a friends blog the other day and something hit home. My friend eats her trouble away. This is something I can relate to whole heartedly.
When I am stressed I eat. When I am upset I eat. When I am depressed I eat. But eating would not be a problem if I ate, say veggies or PB or even full on steaks... my poison of choice is ice cream. A lot of it. When I have had a really bad day not only do I grab a pint of Ben & Jerry's but a tube of cookie dough.
Then I eat all of it.

When I'm eating this I know that it won't make anything better. I know that ice cream will solve nothing. I know that eating this much ice cream and chocolate and cookie dough this late at night is not good for me...
Here is a typical bad day in the life of Aubrey.
Stress of school, money, room mates, friend drama... By the time around 6:00pm comes around I am whole heartedly depressed.
I have no power over the things that are causing me stress. I can't make school go by faster. I can't make clients be nicer. I can't make the teachers any better at teaching. I have no power over how many dishes my room mates leave in the sink. I have no power over how loud they watch the TV. I can't change the things around me. I am incapable of doing anything...
But I can control what I eat, I have the power to choose. Eating is the only thing I can find to DO. I know that it doesn't fix anything, but I tell myself, at least I'm doing something.

Now, if you are one of those people who just say; "Eat something different." or "Things will only bother you if you let them." or "Life happens, everyone has stress" Then I suggest that you stop reading my blog and go read up on depression. Not sadness; gloom; dejection. But rather clinical depression meaning "a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason"
Unexplainable feelings of worthlessness. Crying over something small like not being able to find a spoon for your cereal. inefficient Wanting nothing more than to sleep all day, dream your cares away. Helplessness, inefficient, powerless, abandoned, hopelessness.

When I feel this way I have strange cravings for ice cream, candy, chocolate, cookie dough. Things I know are bad for me. I think that somewhere in the back of my mind I am trying to compensate my actions to how I feel? I feel horrible emotionally, for no reason, so I eat pints of ice cream so I feel guilty a tangible emotion with a reasonable explanation. Also, I feel horrible emotionally, but after I eat all this I feel horribly physically as well.
My stomach aches caused by ice cream at 9:00pm is a physical pain not only with an discernible reason but something you can understand. I say "I'm depressed and hopeless" and stupid people say, "Then just choose to be happy" but they don't understand that doing this is not in my power. But when I say "I have a horrible stomach ache which kept me up all night" Even the stupid people can relate. Everyone has had a stomach ache before. I bet everyone has even eaten ice cream late at night and felt the consequences the next day.



I'm not sure what the point of this post was.... maybe I'm just thinking out loud (thinking on line... TOL?)

Awe well, the class is near over now, I am off and away

A room with a view

I am home, in Richland…

As I write this it is 5:30am. I went to bed around midnight and took 3 melatonin pills, which on a typical night will give me a good seven hours, but not tonight. *sigh*
As it is so early in the morning I doubt that this particular post will have a very cohesive theme or even possibly make sense at all, I’m mostly writing it to pass the time until I become tired enough to sleep again.

You know the stereotypical thing that parents do to their children’s room once they go off to college, turn it into an exercise room, a ping pong room, a room to store their shoes (the latter would most likely be my dad, lqtm) Well, it seems that my parents love me a bit more than the stereotypical parent loves their children.
My room is not only still my room; everything I left in the room when I packed in a hurry is still here. The room is the same from sentimental memorabilia saved from high school plays to stacks of empty CD cases left over from the switch to MP3s. Of course the room was used, as my dads nap room but once I came home it was restored to “Aubrey’s Room”

Have you ever thought about a word so long that you start to think that it couldn’t possibly be an actual word? It starts to sound funny; the spelling begins to look truly ridiculous. Think about the word “room”. Room, room, rOom, roOM, room… It’s like Vroom, or Rome. What kind of word is room? There are no hard vowels. In a fight with another word “room” would be pummeled. It sounds as if it were asleep, somnolent and lazy.
In this corner, weighing in a four letters, two vowels and two consonants, we have “ROOM!” A noun meaning; an area within a building enclosed by walls and floor and ceiling. In the other corner, a light weigh with only three letters in all, Ack! Onomatopoeia, the sound one might make when frightened. *Ding Ding*
First round, they both enter the ring, Ack full of energy, looks like he’s ready for a serious fight, fists up and jumping side to side. Room, almost lethargic, arms swinging down as if his gloves were too heavy… is this guy serious? He’ll never make it out alive like that! Ack goes in for the fight, AND with one swift blow “Ack”.
And it’s over folks, room is out cold, he won’t be waking up anytime soon.
Ack, kaki, gastric, skip, palpitate, bombard, center, destitute, extradite, frantic, igloo, jab, lunge, mattress, obliterate, pummel, pounce, quit, restitution, recite, titan, tattle, underpants, vegetarianism, whip, yeast, yesterday, yodel, Zanzibar.
Room is no match for any of these words. In fact I bet that the great majority of words with the letters K, T, B, P or D would destroy "room"

Room, Room, Room, room, room, room

Room.
Room Room
Room Room Room
Room Room Room Room Room
Room Room Room Room Room Room

Word of the day: Epic

Today (well, the last time the sun way out is was) Friday, the day before I leave...

I greatly dislike Provo, as any reader of my blog knows I would rather grate my face with a rusty cheese grater than live in this city any longer. I'm not a fan of Utah in general... My reasons have been thoroughly expressed in earlier posts so I will go on with the rest of the blog.......

Before I leave for the airport tomorrow I have to pack my few things that are left into 2 suitcases, one carry-on and one personal item. And I have to do apartment check-out, meaning clean my side of the bedroom and the upstairs bathroom to a "no one lives here" state

I have known about these things for a few days... and have found more than a few reasons to put them off.
Today I spent an epic day with David Jon Banks. 13 hours to be precise. We went to BYU Campus and took pictures of each other sleeping with a pillow in awkward places like on top of the newspaper boxes, upside-down on stair railings, in the middle of a common area as people walked by. Then we went to a wrap-party of a film he worked on, then to his apartment where we talked with his room mates and watched David play a video game (I have always loved watching people play!) Talked some more and watched some Family Guy.
It was 3:00am by the time I got home.

Then and only then did I realize the real reason I have been putting off the packing and the cleaning, besides my usual procrastinator ways.... I don't want to leave.
I mean, I want to leave I would kill something or someone if I had to live in Provo much longer.... but I guess I'm not good with change. I have only moved twice in my life that I remember, once with my family to Washington. A big change but it was a change we all took together. Then from Washington to Provo last September, this was also a big change but I knew what I was moving to, I knew why I was there and what to expect for the next 15 months...
I am moving, not only out of Provo (for which I am truly thankful) but I am moving on to a new chapter in my life.
I'm no longer in school.
I'm no longer a student.
I don't know what is coming next.
Because I got into Beacon life could literally take me anywhere.

I don't want to leave the wonderful people that I have met here. Granted the vast majority of the people I have come into contact with while living here are not people that I want to keep hold of in life. However there are a select few whom I have grown to love dearly. Individuals who have helped sculpt me into the person I am today. Life changing friends.
And though now a days with things like Facebook and texting it is easier to stay in touch, it is virtually impossible to remain friends with someone on the same level when distance is added. When situations and venues change. When your separate lives morph and change you into who you will become, without your once loved.


I don't like change. I don't want to leave the ones I've grown to love.
And I'm afraid to go home.

When I get back to Richland there will be a little bit of a Rip Van Winkle complex. It will not be the Richland that I once knew. Buildings will have gone up and down, businesses will have opened and closed and moved and grown.
The people that I knew will have changed as well. Most of my friends my age will not be home for summer for two months at least, if they come home at all.
And my friends who are still in high school will be in school until then as well.
I am a very different person now than who I was almost two years ago. I know that the me know and the me then would not have gotten along very well....... and I don't know how the me know will get along with people from my past. I don't know if I will be comfortable being myself as I am now, or if I will feel the need to act more like the way I once was.

And on top of all of that, I shudder to think of the inevitable day that Jeremy and I meet again. It will be awkward and it will be painful and it will be #&$@

Nothing much has happened since my last post...

So I'll just humor you with a few of my favorite quotes! Quotes from life, from movies, from books, from plays from songs and from great people.




Death was nonplussed. It was like asking a brick wall what it thought of dentistry. As a question, it made no sense.

--Death, upon being asked about marriage (Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time)


Eight hundred years had taught Lu-Tze that what happens, stays happened . . . . . you couldn’t make it unhappen.
-- (Terry Pratchett, the thief if time)


"You ought to be thankful, a whole heaping lot, for the places and people you're lucky you're not."
-Dr. Sesuss

"…a tweetle beetle noodle poodle bottled paddled muddled duddled fuddled wuddled fox in socks, sir!"
-Dr. Seuss

:Some people are much more oh, ever so much more oh, muchly much-much more unlucky than you"
-Dr. Seuss

Some Shakespearean insults:
*Thine horrid image doth unfix my hair
*If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases
*O teach me how I should forget to think

"I miss you like the sun misses the flowers, like the sun misses the flowers in the depths of winter, instead of beauty to direct it's light to, the heart hardens like the frozen world which your absence has banished me to."
-- William in "A Knight's Tale"

"I miss you when something really good happens, because you're the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you're the only one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry, because I know that you're the one who makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other for those were some of the best memorable times of my life."
-- Author Unknown

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells . . . to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”
-Dave Barry

"Mustard is gross, it's like the devils urine" -Ariel

"You're talking too loud for me to smell" -Carolyn

"What is Tagalog, is it like Chinese" -Ariel

"Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside." - Margaret Walker

"Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed."
-G.K. Chesterton

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." -David Bowie

"Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, teach phys ed" -My Father

"Adam fell that man might be. Man art that they may have joy"

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."
-Jaques in William Shakespeare's As You Like It

"I was mocking you by the way" -Me
"You know what? Aubrey!? I hope you have ugly children!!!" -Ariel

"Octopuses don't have eight legs, they have eight ARMS!" -Ashley

"Are you even sure all those babies have heads?" -Dallin (room mates friend)

"So, do you think that a bajillion would be bigger or smaller than a googol?" -LaFawndah

"Jeans, jeans the magical pants. The more you wear ...the more you . . . . dance?"

Alfred- Why Bats, sir?
Bruce Wayne- Bats frighten me, it's time my enemies share my dread
-Batman Begins

"And today all the Hawtchers who live in Hawtch-Hawtch
are watching on Watch-Watcher-Watchering-Watch,
Watch-Watching the Watcher who's watching that bee.
You're not a Hawtch-Watcher. You're lucky, you see!
That's why I say, "Duckie!
Don't grumble! Don't stew!
Some critters are much-much,
oh, ever so much-much,
so muchly much-much more unlucky than you!"
-Dr. Seuss

"Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance I will ask you to dance. If I want to speak I will open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak further. Why? What good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come from my saying that I sometimes cannot think clearly or do my work properly? What gain can rise of my telling you the only time I feel fear as others do is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy Walker. I fear for your safety before all others. And yes, I will dance with you on our wedding night." -Lucius Hunt, The Village

Neville: [to a pretty mannequin in the video store] I... I promised a friend I would say hello to you today...[begins to cry]... Please say hello to me...[sobs]...Please say hello to me.

Oh, for a muse of fire that would ascend
The brightest heaven of invention!
A kingdom for a stage, princes to act,
And monarchs to behold the swelling scene!
-Prolouge to Henry V

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
--Terry Pratchett

"Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you"
-Wicked

"Christian, you may see me only as a drunken, vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels. But I know about art and love, if only because I long for it with every fiber of my being." -Moulin Rouge

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. -Dead Poets Society

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); -Hitch-Hikers Guide

Christopher Robin and I walked along
Under branches lit up by the moon
Posing our questions to Owl and Eeyore
As our days disappeared all too soon
But I've wandered much further today than I should
And I can't seem to find my way back to the Wood
-Kenny Loggins Return to Pooh Corner

"I'd rather grate my face with a cheese grater" -My Father

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life" -Mr. Leggett ever time he opens class

"You have a mustach!" -Aubrey
"No I don't, it's just hair!" -Isaac

"I don't like dying, it hurts" -Chase

" 'snot working, 'snot working" -Isaac when he tried to put pants on as a shirt at the age of 2

"KD, why did you bring that blanket to school!?" -Kelsy
"It's like holding hands with someone, you just don't want to let go"-KD

"I bit a kid, almost got kicked out of preschool"

"Don't you want, just one time in your life to wear Depends, JUST FOR FUN!?!" -Ashley

"NEVER say no to lip gloss!" -Grace

"You can't risk what you don't have, and you cant have have what you don't risk for" -sign in hall way made by ASB at Hanford

"I think you probably would rather not die than get an A on a test . . . . I bet you spend more of your time trying not to die than... other things" -McKay while teaching a lesson @ church

"Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children." -Excerpt from some church bulletin

"Send Aubrey to feed the pig, Ramsel." -side note on one of my fathers papers

"hawtche-paatchkey"

Letter to a Friend

I haven't written in a while, sorry about that! I am just so tired after pulling such long hours for weeks at a time at school... but I'm done now, all I've done since then is sleep.


I have finished my school hours! I am DONE with Paul Mitchell The School! Now there is only time standing between me and my License!!!!

Oh man, I took my practical exam a few weeks ago and let me tell you, the most stressful thing I have EVER DONE! It tops everything stressful about high school theatre that we did. Worse than performing when you don't know your lines, worse than being caught on stage when someone misses their cue, worse than being stage manager when backstage the only person who knows how to move some scenery sprains their ankle and you have to find/train someone else before the current scene is finished! (All of which happened to me)
The test wasn't all that technically difficult per say, it was just stressful as all get out! I know how to do hair, I know how to handle and curling iron, roll a perm, hold my scissors, apply color. But everything changes when there is someone there watching you, judging and scoring you.
The most important part of the exam was sanitation and safety. The State doesn't care much if you are a GOOD hair stylist as long as you aren't going to injure anyone or give them some sort of horrible sickness. Every time I thought about it I used hand sanitizer, between every section of the test, whenever I touched anything on my person, any time I dropped ANYTHING (which I did a lot) My hands were so dry by the end of that you wouldn't believe.
I was prepared for the technical side of the exam because my school has a mini class in which you spend a week doing nothing but going over exactly what is on the exam. It consists of; Set Up, curling w/ a curling iron (which they don't have you plug in, just go through the motions of using!) hair cutting, perming, color application, chemical relaxer application, barbering (as in the shaving of the face... the cosmetology and barbering license are now combined) and male hair cutting using clippers w/o a guard and scissors. Each section is timed and the examiners read a script saying nothing but what is written in their book. The test is taken in a big room with four tables, white walls, white ceilings, white floors and no personality. Six candidates take the test at a time with 1-3 examiners.
I took it with three of my peers and two girls from other schools. Seeing these other girls take the test was another testament to me of how PMtS is better than many other of the 100s of schools in Utah.
After the test was completed we were instructed to clean up our things and wait in the room next door, which was a smaller room with six chairs, also completely white. We sat and waited for our results. I was not nervous about the results at all, I was fairly confident that I had passed. Everyone else seemed much less so. There was one girl, not from Paul Mitchell who was sure that she had failed the test. I honestly would not have been surprised if she failed miserably... some of the things she did were ridiculous, and the examiners paid the most attention to her.
It turns out that all of us passed, thank the heavens and sky's above. I think that if I had for any reason not passed I would have not only have been devastated, but I would have questioned my very worth as a hair stylist and wondered if this is really what I want and am meant to be doing with my life... but I passed. And I know that though this may not be the path God chose directly for me, he supports it 100%
Yesterday my dad was in town and he took 90% of my things back to Richland with him. I will be living out of a suit case for the next two weeks. On the 18th of April I have a plane ticket back home to the town I love! I never knew how much I love the tri-cities until I left (and let's be honest, practically anywhere is better than Provo) The smell of the river, the amazing pale almost sea foamy green of the few plants that grow naturally there. The lack of snow. The diversity of religion which insures everyone has an open mind.
One thing I hate about Provo the most is how because there are so many Mormons in the same place they begin to judge outsiders very harshly. There are many self-righteous people who are hyper-judgmental and view everything that isn't to a T on the straight and narrow (or what they believe to be) as evil. Anyone who drinks caffeine is practically apostate, even though there is no church doctrine condemning the consumption of it.

I went on a date for the first time in... almost two years. Wow, I didn't realize it had been that long! A guy in my ward, Ian, asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told him that he should take me on a date.
We went to TGI Fridays and I had ribs, I love ribs. Really I love meat in general but don't eat it often because it is expensive, doesn't keep well (and by well I mean it won't survive a nuclear blast like ramen and mac 'n cheese) and it takes time to prepare, time I don't have (or didn't when I had school)
Then we went mini golfing. The last time I went mini golfing was with my grandma and grandpa Mann, over 10 years ago, probably over 15 years ago. Ian is very competitive and is good at golf (the reason he chose golf, because he knew he could win, lol) I only lost by about 15 points. Lol

Today I took my state board written test, and passed with an 87% It turned out to be much easier than I thought. I am always surprised when I find out how much I actually know... it seems that $14,000 and fiveteen months of school actually taught me something

Sleep for two hours and gaze into the setting sun

There have been... certain individuals... in my life who have disappointed me quite a bit. They know that I am going to hair school and that I plan on being a hairdresser, but this is all they have bothered to find out about my life right now.

They haven't asked me if I am happy doing what I am. They haven't looked into my eyes and seen the passion that burns behind them. They haven't asked about my school, my teachers, my course work, my accomplishments. Upon hearing that I took my practical exam they didn't ask about it, or even congratulate me on passing. They almost seem to think that this path I have chosen is a cop-out for me... that I "could have done better" or some BS like that. When they heard tell of my graduation ceremony they didn't ask when it was, how it would go or if they could come (needless to say, after writing this blog I don't want them there, but still)
They are not proud of me, in all the work I have put toward my goal these past 16 months. And while I do not need the approval of anyone to validate what I love, these people, being who they are should probably look at their priorities and set some things higher.

I am very proud of the things I have done. I have completed just under 2000 hours of school, passing all my tests with flying colors. Never not completing my assignments, always on time and doing the best I can.
I am attending one of the very toppest top schools of cosmetology in the world. The best teachers I have ever met, amazingly skilled hair stylists who have such a passion for it that they want to pass it on to us, the students. It was passed and stuck. I love doing hair, I love fashion, I love what I do. I get to go everyday and do something I love.
I am a day-maker. Everyday I get to go and make someones day better than it was before, I make people feel beautiful. I help bring inner beauty out for all to see, shy uncertain people leave glowing with confidence. Not only because of how I make them look, but the way I make them feel.
Then there is the artistic part of it. With the combination of cutting, coloring, texture and styling I can make a person look completely different. Subtle changes that open a face up or diminish the look of an unwanted feature. One of my favorite teachers once said that we don't "do hair" we "decorate peoples heads" It is so true, I am an artist, but unlike most mediums, my art is alive and has to like what I do. A walking, talking, breathing, feeling, judging, paying canvas.

Doing what I do is much more difficult than people give it credit for... especially certain individuals.
To these people I ask, what is the main component in hair dye? Why is it that box color is bad? What happens when box color and professional hair color is mixed? What is the ammonia content of store bleach? What is hair made of? What is the pH of hair, professional shampoo? pH of Suave? What pH is needed for a hair color to be permanent and not semi-permanent. What causes fly-aways and split ends, how does one prevent them? Can you name the bones of the skull? I can. Could you, if asked look at a picture of some celebrities hairstyle and copy it to fit your clients needs, tastes and lifestyle? I can. What is the difference between the 15+ brushes in my kit, when and why would you use one over the other?
The way a perm works is it breaks down the physical bonds in the hair. (disulphide bonds are the strongest and can only be broken with chemicals or except in overly damaged hair) Then the hair is held in a desired shape, most commonly around a perm rod before the bonds are chemically reformed in a different pattern, creating a new wave pattern.

In school I have been on three different extra curricular teams. Through these teams I have learned everything about the entire Paul Mitchell hair care line from the six shampoo/conditioner lines to the over 50 different styling products. Protective sprays, pomades, serums, foam, waxes, gels. There are at least 11+ different types of hairspray alone. I can tell you the best one for any given circumstance and have been "top take-home leader" multiple times, meaning I have sold the highest dollar amount in product that month.
I have worked on the sets of multiple movies/plays doing the hair and the make-up. Making connections with people in the business and have gained many new clients from it. My name will be listed among two others under "Make-up Specialist Team" in a short film which will be submitted to the Sundance Film Festival.
I have gained the knowledge on how to bring clients into the salon, keep them coming back and bringing their friends. I have learned how to sell product or extra services to almost anyone. And am top of my school as far as cutting, coloring, perming and styling are concerned.

When most people think of hairdressers they think of the ones working in Master Cuts or Great Clips. Or high school dropouts who couldn't do anything else in their life.
I could have gone to BYU, I could have gotten into so many different colleges, but that isn't what I chose. I CHOSE TO DO HAIR! Doesn't my opinion have anything to do with it? Doesn't my happiness have any say in the matter? I am happy and that should be all you care about, that in it's self should be enough for you.
I am doing something I love. I have accomplished so much in the past year and a half, and I have the next seven years of my life planned out. Within a month I will have a license and a Laurent job ANYWHERE I go, with the very probably possibility of making over $1000 a week. What other barely 20 year old can say as much?
Next year while I am working at some High End salon charging over $50 for a haircut, my friends the same age will be juniors in college. Still working minimum wage scooping ice cream or making telemarketer phone calls. Even after they graduate, some are getting degrees in "childhood studies" or "English" or "music performance" And really, what can you do with those? Be a good mother, a teacher... with a BA in English you can teach, write, edit or be a secretary. And any of those jobs will fluctuate with economy, job market and things like that..... but think about it, when people are depressed about the way the world is going they go somewhere they can feel important, beautiful and relaxed. They will come and sit in my chair and I will make sure that they are the most important person in my life for as long as they are in that chair.
One individual was surprised when I said I would be working in a high end salon by next year. "you can't just walk in and get a job can you?" Taken back, they know nothing about the industry and excepted that I would have to "climb the ladder" per say. No, this is not how it works. I have connections through school and other things that will secure me at least three Good job interviews in any city in the US. This person, who has never seen my work or shown any interest in it, knows nothing of my technical skills and has no idea what I can do... I can do some pretty amazing things, but you wouldn't know that unless you showed more than 4% interest in what I do.

These... certain individuals in my life look down on what I do, look down on the decision I have made. They see the $14,000 I spent on school and the $8,000 student loans I have as something to be ashamed of, some kind of big mistake. I feel that the education, skills, personal discoveries and experience I have gotten from my time spent at Paul Mitchell the School, Provo were worth every penny of that $14,000 tuition.



I am a hairdresser, I have a passion for it. Doing it fills me with the kind of energy you can only get when doing the thing you are supposed to be doing. I will be happy doing this for as long as I can do it, until my fingers fold up on themselves with arthritis, my knees bend out and I can't hold scissors or stand up... I will do hair, and love it.

So, to those certain individuals who feel that this choice of mine was not the best, that I could have been something better with my life...
I say Screw you!

The other day...

The other day a client said something to me, something that astounded me and make me even more anxious to get the heck out of Provo.

We were doing a full foil slice, highlights essentially. A very long process


[I am very tired and do not have the energy to fully blog this, so I will paraphrase]



We didn't talk much as both of us were very tired. At one point she asked me a question I get alot, and was sick of hearing the first time.
"So, how many of these guys are gay?" Really, if you want to know you should go and talk to a few of them. Is it any of your business? Do I ask you if you are straight, granted it's usually a given, but still....
"It's about even actually..." she looked surprised and... disproving? no not disproving she looked judgmental. "Actually more than half of my best friends are gay. They are amazing and nice and caring and completely non-judgmental. I love them all dearly"
At this point there was a slight lull in the conversation
she then asked, trying to make it seem like a new subject but I could still see she was thinking about what I just said "So, are you LDS?" a common question, one I don't mind hearing or answering
"Yea" I said
"So... do you go to church?" REALLY? Really?! Who asks that? Whether I go to church or not is none of your business. You obviously only asked such a thing because you assume that I don't, you assume that I am an inactive member, or a "Sunday-Mormon" meaning I'm only LDS on the sabbath. You assume that because I know lots of homosexuals that I am apostate! That I couldn't possibly be a good strong member of the church because of the "types" of people I associate with, that just because I'm not as judgmental and condemning as you are that... Of all the ignorant, selfish, close-minded, judgmental, hypocritical Un-Christlike things to.... needless to say I was a bit taken back and outraged at this question.
"Yup, every week" I said with a smile.

Luckily for both of us I was ready to blow dry and had to stop the conversation right there... I really wanted to throw some stuff in there about how fun it is to compare taste with my fairy friends, or something along those lines to outrage her as much as she had me, but that would have been unprofessional so I held my tongue.


That is the type of people I come in contact with all the time in Provo. Hypocritical, super hyper-judgmental church members who feel superior because they have the gospel, feel like everyone else is lower somehow. And anything different is bad. If you aren't following things to a T you are automatically a horrible person deserving of scorn...... or somehow worse: deserving of pity. I hate the "I want to save your soul" look I get sometimes. I DON'T NEED MY SOUL SAVED BY YOU! YOU ARE NOT MY SAVIOR!
I go to Church, I don't do anything that makes me a bad member of the church. Sure I have my faults and weaknesses but everyone does. One fault I don't have is being judgmental.
I am open-minded, accepting and save the judging for God.

Goodness people... UGH!













Oh, and Jeremy and I are officially over. For real this time. :/

I have five days left in school.....

I took my state board practical exam and passed

I am almost done...

10 days until my birthday

less than 10 until my parents come to town for their spring break




That is all

Handicapped

In final phase today I cut my self pretty good... my left ring finger is in pain.

I lost a lot of blood, and it was very close to needing stitches, but I don't.

it's really hard to type without using that finger, and it hurts unless I keep it elevated, so I walked around the second half of the day with my hand in the air, I felt a bit silly but whatever.... that's all


The End [stop] [period]

Pardon my french

...and by french I mean girl talk... I hesitated at first about posting this blog, but then I figured this is MY blog about MY life and as much as I wish hope and pray that it wouldn't be, this is a part of me and who I am.

It is that time of the month... automatically awful day right there. But this time around it is worse than it has been in a long time as for as sensitive moodiness and cramps.
It all started out this morning when I got all ready with the things I would need through out the day, I had lots to take because this week is Final Phase for me (a week long course offered at school which goes step by step through state borards making it practically impossible to fail) I had all these things ready to go and then remembered that I needed breakfast.
My cramps were starting and I hoped that eating something would at least keep them from combining forces with the empty-stomach monster. I grabbed some yogurt and looked in the drawer for a spoon. Nothing there.
I looked on the table where I left my spoon from eating dry cereal the night before, nothing there.
I looked in the dishwasher and couldn't see if it was dirty or clean. I risked it and dived in in search of a spoon with which I would eat breakfast and rush off to school hopefully early gaining precious extra minutes towards graduation and guaranteeing being on time. Nothing there (in the form of spoons that is)
I was standing in the kitchen, 20 min before school starts, five minutes before I wanted to BE at school with a cup of yogurt and nothing to eat it with.
The tears started welling, my eyes started leaking, my throat started tightening and yes, I started crying. Not an audible cry, no wailing took place, but I was crying.
After about two seconds of that I realized that I was crying over a spoon! I felt so silly for crying over a bent piece of metal that I started crying harder...

Then I remembered that I keep a spoon in my purse for just such emergencies. Crisis not really averted, but over and done.

I went to school very irritable as is often my monthly case. Nothing new, nothing exciting.
I sat down in Final Phase class. In it with me all week are Tajia, Kayce, Leena, Michelle 12, Kendra, CarrieAnne, Susie, Angelique and Mike. Of those my good friends are Kayce and Leena. Today we ended up sitting at different tables (though, in a room as small as this one it didn't really make much of a difference)

Ugh, I hate doing this again on another blog post, but it is late and it seems I spent too much on the first part of the story... I just ran to the store to buy some pamprin and other necessities to aid with "mother natures gift" and it is now 12:00
My goal is to be in bed ready to fall asleep by 11:30

The other day I was reading an article about how a group of 30 women changed their schedule so they would each get 7.5 hours of good sleep every night, after a month and a half of this each of them had lost 15-35 lbs. Because if you're not tired you don't binge on unhealthy foods, you aren't too tired to exercise, and your body has enough time to do all the things it can't do while you are awake.
I wake-up at 7:30 so if I get to SLEEP BY 12:00 I will get seven and a half hours of sleep.

I didn't reach my goal tonight, but as my (and Mr. Leggett's) personal mantra goes; Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I hate coming up with titles for these things...

I think that it has been more than a week since my last post, which means that like my other New Years resolutions, I have failed.
But, Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I can start anew.


It is 7:00 am on a Monday. I am sitting awake at my computer waiting for the shower to be free.
On most Mondays I would be deep into sleep for another good three hours, but last night at around 8:30pm my dear dear Cam friend texted me and asked if I could sub for him today.

There is so much that has happened in the last little while I just can't seem to find the time to write about it, what with school the film shooting and trying to catch up on sleep I hardly have time for anything (as is evident by the pile of clothes in my hamper and the struggle each morning to find something to wear)
I don't want to start into anything too important because I will only have to leave in a moment (I hope, because otherwise there will be no hot water.)

I have once again decided that boys are dumb. It seems that I decide this quite often, but maybe I should qualify that statement. The great majority of straight guys in which I come into contact with under the age of 27 are shallow, immature, incomprehensibly unobservant and a complete waste of my time.
Example 1: The most recent testament to this statement I met on the film set I've been working on. I did the hair and make-up and he worked on the lights. He was one of those guys who is pro at flirting. I found him on facebook (along with a few others I met on set) and saw some things that made me happy, and some that didn't so much. This boy, who will remain nameless because this is a public blog, has mostly girl friends on facebook. In his "Interests" section he mentioned film, theatre, movies, and going on dates. In his "About Me" section he explained the origins of his less than normal name and said he loved taking girls out for a great time. This part made me smile because I haven't been on a date in a while (no wonder with the amount of straight guys I know, lqtm) The part that made me hesitant was his age, he had recently turned 19 in November... This meant one of two things, neither of which would lead to anything good in my case. Either he was not planning going on a mission, or he was... a preemie :(
Long story short (because the shower is free) I decided to ask him to a movie regardless because fact is fact nothing would come of anything considering I would be moving in 6 weeks. I asked him via text during the week (the shoots are on weekends) and he said he was busy, which was a viable excuse because it is film making season at BYU. But when the weekend came and we were both on set, things were different. He didn't go out of his way to smile at me as he had before. When there was anyone else to talk to, he didn't seek out my conversation. He stopped flirting entirely.
The great majority of straight guys in which I come into contact with under the age of 27 are shallow, immature, incomprehensibly unobservant and a complete waste of my time: This boy fit all parts, including being a complete waste of my time. I didn't dwell on him longer than needed and instead busied myself with conversation w/ the actors and learning the card game the movie is about.
Serves me right for going for a preemie, there is generally a great reduction in my statements truth after a mission is served...


and now, for a shower and an extra day of school. (seven hours closer to graduation!)

video

I have had no free time to do anything between school and Spot shooting and Beacon applications

but here's the link to the video that David Jon Banks made for me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-c2-uVG_Qg

Monday ie. my saturday

Because I have school on Saturdays I don't have it on Mondays...


So much has gone on since last week and I do not have the energy to tell much about it......


I am working on the set of a student film doing hair and make-up, long hours with a lot of sitting around waiting for when the actors need a touch up.
It is a short film only around 10-15 minutes when it's done...


I have a long few weeks ahead, long hours at school, no money and my Beacon application is due Sunday and I will have to bust my butt to get finished in time.

A Change of Scene

So tomorrow I will get to school at 8:50 like everyday... I will stay there all through Day School and into Night School, just like everyday

But unlike every other day, I will be leaving school at 6:30pm to go on scene of some movie set or another.
We don't know the plot, we don't know how many people there will be, only that we will be doing the hair and the make-up for them.

I will be on set from 7:00pm to 3:00 am, that is eight hours... I will get five and a half extra hours for school (I would be at school from 6:30-10 regardless)

Then on Saturday I will be going from 7:00am to 7:00pm, twelve hours on set... I would be at school for seven hours anyway, that means that I will rack up an additional five hours.


TEN FREAKING HOURS!
I will graduate 10 hours sooner

With these extra hours factored in I have calculated, that my estimated graduation date, the time I will be finished with all my 2,000 hours required by the state of Utah will be March freaking 26th





oh, and I hate Valentines Day...

pictures worth 1000 words?

if that is true than putting up a few pictures a week would fulfil my resolution of blogging weekly

what I really want is to put a picture slide show of some sort on the top... I'll have to look for one

Bummer

I have been doing Day and Night school (50 hour weeks) for two weeks now... only now am I finding out that upon doing this my hours speed up, but my theory hours stay the same
this means that once my 2000 clock hours are completed I will still owe 20 theory hours!

When enrolled and getting clock hours you get 4 theory hours a week, after you "graduate" and complete your clock hours you can go to both creative and adaptive and night school theory, giving you 9 theory hours a week.

I have to stay in Provo for two and a half weeks longer than planned...

three weeks after my parents come down to Utah for spring break, making the getting of me and all my stuff back to Washington a bit more difficult.


In school there are two tests you have to pass before taking the official State Board written test, I took the first one today and I'll take the second on Thursday.... I'm not sure how good I did, you have to get 70%+ to pass hopefully I did... They offer the tests once a month, you can take them as many times as you need but because I finish so soon I will only have one more opportunity to take both tests. *knocks on wood*

As of last Monday I have 1,576 hours and I get 50 hours a week. March 10th I will take "Final Phase" which is a week long class which preps you for the State Board Practical Exam.
My friend Kayce and I will take it together, then on the Monday following (March 16th) we will drive to Odgen and take the test.... EEEee! That is soo soon! I'm almost done, it's scary but I know that I'm ready.

They have a graduation ceremony every three months, the next one is sometime in March. It is really a formality mostly for the family of students because you graduate once you have 2000 hours, not whenever the graduation ceremony rolls around.